Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Nose Woes

My cousins Barb and Michelle posted Nose Stories on their blogs and asked readers to share their own. I have two.

It was during holiday meal preparations at my Grandparents'. Baked beans must've been on the menu. I was probably 4 years old. I found a dried navy bean on the floor. Why oh why did I put a navy bean up my nose, I do not know. But that is what I did totally without bribery or coercion. STUPID!! Once it was there it wouldn't come out and of course I panicked and was totally terrified to tell my parents and especially my grandfather, who was somewhat stern and had a 'smartest man in the world' complex. I remember lots of tears and commotion and the threat that a bean plant would grow clear into my brain. Then I remember a white light bulb inches from my face, grandpa holding my arms tight so I wouldn't wiggle and he could get a good look. I remember talk of using tweezers and the feel of a man's big white handkerchief against my face streaked with hot tears and being told to "Blow hard!" and the bean flew out and the relief was enormous, both physically and emotionally.

Memory number two is really my daughter's Nose Story. It would be interesting to hear her version. She was probably 6 years old we were going out for lunch at Kid Africa's near Green Lake. "Mom, Dad, I have a bloody nose." she mumbles from the back seat. Sure enough, vivid red blood is coursing from her nose. Chris dashes into Kid Africa's, comes back with fists full of napkins. We are parked, the back door opened, pinching her nose, sopping up blood. It seemed to take forever to stop, she is quiet yet fidgety. You know, Honey Girl is almost never quiet (unless she is reading a book). I tilt her head back and peer into the nostrils, one is a black and empty, the other has something blood soaked. I of course suspect the worst; it looks like brain tissue coming out of her nose. I express alarm, trying not to be alarmed. 'The daughter' begins to cry. "It's a tissue she sobs." "What tissue?" I ask as none of us had colds and I am not a reliable, save the day mommy, with tissue up my sleeve. "Barbie's tissue she cries," flushed red with embarrassment. You know those Barbie doll sets with the little shoes, hair brushes, and make up kits. Well, the one in the back seat with her had a teeny tiny Kleenex box and she had sampled the tissue,inhaling when she should have exhaled and "Whoosh!" up her nose went Barbie's tissue! That brought some relief for me but we were still stuck with how in the world to get the dang thing out. DH opens the glove box and hauls out a pair of needle nosed pliers with green handles, she shrieks, I shriek and he decides "Maybe this is NOT the tool to use." I do not think we stayed to eat. I do remember ordering milk shakes and heading home and I think she blew it out on her own. I guess it is up to Honey Girl to tell the rest of the story!


Lisa said...

I have memories of Grandpa putting his handkerchief over my dog, Solo's nose to pull porcupine quills out. I was the one crying frantically as he yanked them out!! Also I remember brother Jeff having an M&M up his nose as a teenager....not sure how he got it out? Lisa

Michelle W said...

Funny stuff! I agree with your comment on my post - I cant believe there are some people who DONT have nose stories! They must have bad memories or thy're too embarrassed to tell their story.

Mrs4444 said...

That is WAY too funny! Is that grandpa your dad's dad?

Teresa said...

It is my dad's step dad. He was the 'go to' man for more than one dilemma as is testified by Lisa's comment. Thanks to Michelle for the great writing prompt!